Feedback Delivery
Overview
Systematic procedure for delivering feedback that is heard, received, and acted upon, and for receiving feedback gracefully
Steps
Step 1: Assess the feedback situation
Before preparing feedback, assess the context:
Situation assessment:
- What type of feedback is this? (developmental, reinforcing, corrective)
- How urgent is this? (needs immediate attention vs can wait for right moment)
- What’s the relationship context? (new hire vs tenured, trust level)
- What’s their likely receptivity? (open to feedback vs defensive)
- Is this a pattern or a one-time event?
- What’s the potential impact if not addressed?
Self-assessment:
- Am I calm enough to deliver this constructively?
- Is this about their performance or my preferences?
- Am I trying to help them or just vent frustration?
- Do I have specific observations, not just impressions?
- Am I willing to hear their perspective?
- Is my intent to help them grow?
Check your position on Radical Candor grid:
- Caring personally + Challenging directly = Radical Candor (goal)
- Caring personally + Not challenging = Ruinous Empathy (feels nice, doesn’t help)
- Not caring + Challenging directly = Obnoxious Aggression (damages relationship)
- Not caring + Not challenging = Manipulative Insincerity (worst of all)
Step 2: Prepare feedback using SBI model
Structure feedback using Situation-Behavior-Impact:
SITUATION: When and where did this happen?
- Be specific: “In yesterday’s client meeting…”
- Not vague: “Recently…” or “Sometimes you…”
- Helps them recall the specific instance
BEHAVIOR: What specific behavior did you observe?
- Observable actions, not interpretations
- “You interrupted three times” not “You were rude”
- “You delivered the report two days late” not “You’re unreliable”
- Avoid: character judgments, mind-reading, generalizations
IMPACT: What was the effect of this behavior?
- On you: “I felt frustrated because…”
- On others: “The team lost confidence in…”
- On outcomes: “This caused the client to question…”
- Be honest about impact, don’t exaggerate or minimize
For reinforcing feedback (positive):
- Same structure: what they did well and why it mattered
- “In the presentation yesterday, when you handled the tough question calmly, it reassured the whole room and we won the deal”
Prepare multiple SBI examples if this is a pattern
Step 3: Plan the conversation
Prepare how you’ll deliver the feedback:
Timing:
- Soon after the event (timely feedback is more valuable)
- But not when either of you is emotional or rushed
- Private setting for constructive feedback
- For reinforcing feedback, can be public if appropriate
Opening approach:
- State your intent: “I want to share some feedback that I think will help”
- Ask permission if peer: “Can I share an observation from the meeting?”
- Set collaborative tone: “I care about your success and want to help”
- For positive: “I wanted to tell you something I noticed…”
Conversation structure:
- Open with care and intent
- Deliver SBI feedback clearly
- PAUSE - let them respond
- Listen to their perspective
- Discuss what to do differently (for developmental/corrective)
- Agree on path forward
- Express confidence and support
Prepare for resistance:
- They may have context you don’t know
- They may be defensive initially
- Stay curious: “Help me understand…”
- Don’t back down from the feedback, but listen to their view
Step 4: Deliver the feedback
Execute the feedback conversation:
Delivery principles:
- Be direct but kind (don’t bury the message in softeners)
- Use “I” language (“I observed” not “You always”)
- Maintain eye contact and open body language
- Speak calmly and at measured pace
- Pause after key points to let them land
The conversation:
- Open: “I have some feedback I think will be helpful. Can we talk now?”
- Deliver SBI: State situation, behavior, and impact clearly
- Pause: Give them space to respond
- Listen: Hear their perspective without defending
- Discuss: Explore what happened and what could be different
- Agree: “Going forward, what will you do differently?”
- Support: “How can I help you with this?”
- Close: “I appreciate you hearing this. I believe in your ability to…”
If they get defensive:
- Acknowledge their feeling: “I can see this is hard to hear”
- Restate your intent: “I’m sharing this because I want to help you succeed”
- Stay with the facts: “What I observed was…”
- Invite dialogue: “Help me understand what was going on for you”
If you delivered it wrong:
- It’s okay to pause and reset: “Let me try that again”
- Acknowledge if you were unclear: “I don’t think I said that well”
Step 5: Discuss development path
Move from feedback to forward action:
For developmental/corrective feedback:
- Ask their ideas first: “What do you think you could do differently?”
- Build on their ideas: “Yes, and you might also try…”
- Offer specific suggestions if they’re stuck
- Make it actionable: “What specifically will you do next time?”
- Discuss how to practice: “When’s the next opportunity to try this?”
Creating accountability:
- “What will success look like?”
- “How will you know if it’s working?”
- “What support do you need?”
- “When should we check in on this?”
For reinforcing feedback:
- Help them understand WHY it worked
- Discuss how to replicate in other situations
- Ask how they can share this skill with others
Avoid:
- Prescribing solutions without their input
- Vague suggestions (“just be more collaborative”)
- Creating dependency (“check with me before every meeting”)
Step 6: Follow up and reinforce
Complete the feedback loop:
Immediate follow-up (same day or next):
- Send brief note thanking them for the conversation
- Summarize key agreements in writing
- Reaffirm your support and confidence
Ongoing follow-up:
- Look for evidence of change (notice and acknowledge it)
- Give reinforcing feedback when you see improvement
- Check in at agreed interval
- Provide coaching if they’re struggling
If no improvement:
- Have another conversation, more direct
- Discuss pattern: “We talked about this before and I’m still seeing…”
- Explore obstacles: “What’s getting in the way?”
- May need to escalate severity of consequences
Document:
- Keep notes on feedback conversations
- Track agreements and follow-through
- Useful for performance reviews and development planning
When to Use
- Providing performance feedback to direct reports
- Giving peer feedback on work or collaboration
- Delivering constructive criticism that might be difficult to hear
- Sharing positive feedback and recognition
- Receiving feedback from managers, peers, or reports
- Conducting formal performance reviews
- Coaching in real-time after observing something
- Addressing behavior that needs to change
- Following up on previous feedback conversations
Verification
- Feedback is specific (SBI or similar structure)
- Behavior is observable, not interpreted
- Delivered with care for the person
- Listened to their perspective
- Agreed on specific actions forward
- Follow-up is planned
- Documentation captured
Input: $ARGUMENTS
Apply this procedure to the input provided.